The 12 days of Christmas
by Zhou Ying
Summary: The Dynasty Warriors getting into the Christmas spirit!


**Written by **_**Ying **_** and **_**Zen Kioshi**_

**Disclaimer: We don't own Dynasty Warriors or "The 12 days of Christmas" But we do own Tofu palace.**

**Ying: In honor of Christmas, this little... song, was written me, xq-of-wu, and my brother, Magnum Wolf. Yes, I came up with the idea and we spiced it up.**

**Zen: It was all my idea.**

**Ying: (punch) shut up liar!**

**Zen: This is what I get for my insolence.**

**xxx**

_**On the 1st day of Christmas look and you will see**_

Cao Cao/ Sun Jian/ Liu Bei: The Three Kingdoms Dynasty!

_**On the 2nd day of Christmas look and you will see**_

Zhou Yu/ Sun Ce: The Two Qiao's are dancing

Cao Cao/ Sun Jian/ Liu Bei: And The Three Kingdoms Dynasty!

_**On the 3rd day of Christmas look and you will see**_

Guan Yu/ Zhang Fei/ Liu Bei: Brothers swearing oath

Zhou Yu/ Sun Ce: Two Qiao's are dancing

Cao Cao/ Sun Jian/ Liu Bei: And The Three Kingdoms Dynasty!

_**On the 4th day of Christmas look and you will see**_

Zhang He: 4 Great new dance moves!

Guan Yu/ Zhang Fei/ Liu Bei: brothers swearing oath

Zhou Yu/ Sun Ce: Two Qiao's are dancing

Cao Cao/ Sun Jian/ Liu Bei: And The Three Kingdoms Dynasty!

_**On the 5th day of Christmas look and you will see**_

Gan Ning/ Zhang Fei/ Xiahou Yuan: 5 KEGS O' BEER!

Zhang He: 4 Great new dance moves!

Guan Yu/ Zhang Fei/ Liu Bei: Brothers swearing oath

Zhou Yu: This is getting boring

Sun Ce: Let's go get something to eat

Zhou Yu: Good idea

Sun Ce: I heard of this great new place called the Tofu Palace...

Zhou Yu: Is it another vegetarian place?

Cao Cao/ Sun Jian/ Liu Bei: And The Three Kingdoms Dynasty!

_**On the 6th day of Christmas look and you will see**_

Lu Xun: 6 flaming arrows

Gan Ning/ Zhang Fei/ Xiahou Yuan: 5 KEGS O' BEER! (hic)

Zhang He: 4 Great new dance moves!

Zhang Fei: How many times do we need to do this?

Liu Bei: well-

Da Qiao: Hey, where did they go?

Xiao Qiao: They buggered off!

Da Qiao: So they have!

Cao Cao/ Sun Jian/ Liu Bei: And The Three Kingdoms Dynasty!

_**On the 7th day of Christmas look and you will see**_

Yuan Shao: 7 peasants bowing

Lu Xun: 6 flaming arrows 6 flaming arrows

Gan Ning/ Zhang Fei/ Xiahou Yuan: (hic) 5 KEGS (hic) O' BEER! (hic)

Zhang He: 4 Great new dance moves!

Guan Yu: Yeah, is it entirely necessary?

Liu Bei: Like I said before-

Da Qiao: OK he's right, this _is_ getting boring.

Xiao Qiao: Can we do something else?

Cao Cao/ Sun Jian/ Liu Bei: And The Three Kingdoms Dynasty!

_**On the 8th day of Christmas look and you will see**_

Dong Zhuo: 8 executions

Yuan Shao: 7 peasants bowing

Lu Xun: 6 flaming arrows 6 flaming arrows 6 flaming arrows

Gan Ning/ Zhang Fei/ Xiahou Yuan: 5 (hic) KEGS (hic) O' BEER! (hic) (hic)

Zhang He: 4 Great new dance moves!

Guan Yu: This is getting ridiculous

Liu Bei: BROTHERS SWEARING OATH

Zhang Fei: (hic)

Da Qiao: My feet hurt

Cao Cao/ Sun Jian/ Liu Bei: And The Three Kingdoms Dynasty!

_**On the 9th day of Christmas look and you will see**_

Meng Huo: 9 slaps from Zhu Rong

Dong Zhuo: 8 executions

Yuan Shao: 7 peasants bow- hey, what are you doing with that sword?

Lu Xun: 6 flaming arrows 6 flaming arrows 6 flaming arrows 6 flaming arrows

Gan Ning/ Zhang Fei/ Xiahou Yuan: (hic) 5 (hic) KEGS (hic) O' THAT STUFF! (hic) (hic)

Zhang He: 4 Great new dance moves!

Liu Bei: Brother's swearing... (sigh)

Guan Yu: You might want to finish that sentence brother

Zhang Fei: (hic) I LIKE SHWEARING (hic)

Da Qiao/ Xiao Qiao: We've been dancing for 9 days straight!

Cao Cao/ Sun Jian/ Liu Bei: And The Three Kingdoms Dynasty!

_**On the 10th day of Christmas look and you will see**_

Zhang Jiao: 10 yellow tur-

Lu Xun: (whisper) fire

Zhang Jiao: 10 yellow tur-

Lu Xun: (whisper)

Zhang Jiao: Wha-

Meng Huo: 9 slaps from Zhu Rong

Dong Zhuo: 8 executions

Yuan Shao: This is mutiny! After all I've done for you!

Lu Xun: 6 flaming arrows 6 flaming arrows 6 flaming arrows 6 flaming arrows 6 flaming arrows

Gan Ning/ Zhang Fei/ Xiahou Yuan: SHEVEN (hic) KeGsh (hic) Ohhh' BIER! (hic)

Xiahou Dun: (SMACK) It's five you morons!

Gan Ning/ Zhang Fei/ Xiahou Yuan: (hic) thaz wut wi shayed (hic) sheven

Zhang He: I think I'm getting gayer!

Zhang Fei: shwear oth

Liu Bei/ Guan Yu: Umm, ditto?

Da Qiao/ Xiao Qiao: (pant) (pant)

Cao Cao/ Sun Jian/ Liu Bei: And The Three Kingdoms Dynasty!

_**On the 11th day of Christmas look and you will see**_

Huang Gai: 11 bombs exploding

Zhang Jiao: 10 yellow tur-

Lu Xun: Burn sizzle fry snap crackle pop

Zhang Jiao: You know what bub-

Lu Xun: snap crackle pop

Random girl: Zomg! My rice crispies r lyk speaking to me! rotflololololololol

Zhang Jiao: Well what are they saying to you?

Lu Xun: snap crackle pop

RG: Dong Zhuo... Is... a... fagman

Zhang Jiao: (blink) (blink)

Lu Xun: snap crackle pop

RG: and thaz wat my rice crispies r saying (skips away)

Lu Xun: snap crackle pop

Meng Huo: 9 slaps- you know what? I think I have a permanent imprint on my cheek of Zhu Rong's hand...

Zhu Rong: Speak when spoken to n00b! (slap)

Dong Zhuo: 8 executions... I'm hungry

Yuan Shao: (hack) (slash) (blood squirting)

Lu Xun: 6 flaming arrows 6 flaming arrows 6 flaming arrows 6 flaming arrows 6 flaming arrows 6 flaming arrows

Gan Ning/ Zhang Fei/ Xiahou Yuan: (hic) Lyok! (hic) flyeing (hic) goaut (hic) mountsh! (hic) eyi (hic) fell (hic) woozhy (hic) (hic) (hic)

Zhang He: 4 Great new dance moves!

Guan Yu: Darn these peach blossoms! They keep falling in my tea!

Liu Bei: Zhang Fei is wasted

Zhang Fei: flyeing (hic) goaut (hic)

Sun Ce: Hey, we're back! Want some tofu...

Da Qiao/ Xiao Qiao: (grunt)

Zhou Yu: They're just... Walking around in random circles.

Cao Cao/ Sun Jian/ Liu Bei: And The Three Kingdoms Dynasty!

_**On the 12th day of Christmas look and you will see**_

Lu Bu: 12 bodies fly- what! Who wrote this script! LU BU WILL NOT SETTLE FOR 12 BODIES! HE NEEDS THOUSANDS!

Huang Gai: 11 bombs explo- oops...

Sun Jian: MY PALACE!

Zhang Jiao: 10 yellow tur-

Lu Xun: (whisper)

Zhang Jiao: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (shoots fire at Lu Xun)

Lu Xun: snap crackle pop

Meng Huo: 9 slaps from- THAT'S IT! I'm the husband and king, I demand respect from you-

Zhu Rong: Shut up! I thought I told you to speak when spoken to. (Rolls eyes) Men...

Meng Huo: Yes ma'am

Dong Zhuo: 8 exe-

Gan Ning: WNT SUM BEIR?

Yuan Shao: (dead)

Narrator: The peasants killed Yuan Shao after his many years of conceded looseness, and there was much rejoicing.

Peasants: Hooray!

Narrator: But the 7 peasants were left ruler less so they decided to settle it from a democratic viewpoint. So they each got ballets and wrote down who they wanted to be ruler. But of course everyone voted for himself and a riot arose among the men and they ended up killing each other. THE END... can I go home now?

Emperor: You are dismissed.

Lu Xun: ... I LIKE FIRE!

Gan Ning/ Zhang Fei/ Xiahou Yuan: (hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic) BEIR (hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)(hic)

Zhang He: These moves are soooo 12 days ago

Liu Bei: I'm sick of these oaths! And why are we in a peach garden? I hate peaches, why can't it be an apple garden

Guan Yu: I don't think Brother is even here anymore.

Da Qiao/ Xiao Qiao: (passed out)

Sun Ce: (poking Da) poke... poke... poke... poke... poke... poke... poke... poke... poke... poke... poke... poke... poke... poke... poke... poke... poke... poke...

Zhou Yu: Stop it!

Cao Cao/ Sun Jian/ Liu Bei: And The Three Kingdoms- aw, screw it...

Cao Cao: All this singing has made me hungry.

Sun Jian: I heard of this great new place called the Tofu Palace...

Liu Bei: Is it another vegetarian place?

**xxx**

**And... that's about it**


End file.
